HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

Kisi ne theek hi kaha hai, kisi bhi insaan ko influence kar unse kaam nikalvana ek art hota hai… Aur Is book mein diye gaye principles ki madad se aap isi kalaa kosikhenge. inn principles ko jaan kar naa sirf aap apna confidence badha sakhtein hain, balki logon ko positively influence karne ka tareeka bhi seekh saktein hain. Phir chaahein aap ek student ho, ek businessman ho yaa phir aap apne doston k beech popular hona chahtein ho.

thoda sa samay de kar inn principles ko practice karte hi aap apne aas paas k logo se apna koi bhi kaam aasaani se kara sakte ho. Toh chaliye sabse pehle hum unn fundamental techniques ki baat kartein hain, jinse aap logon ko aasaani se handle kar sakte ho

PRINCIPLE 1 – Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.

yaani logo ki kadwe sabdon mein Aalochna, Ninda aur Shikayat na karein.
Principle 1 hum se yeh kehta hai ki kisi bhi vyakti ki aalochna ya ninda karne se pehle hum us vyakti ko samajhne ki koshish karein, ki who vyakti is tarah se bartaav kyun karta hai aur iske pichhe ki wajah kya hai. Sach maaniye yeh aalochna aur ninda karne se jyada faaydemand hoga, kyunki aisa karne se us vyakti ke sath sath ham mein bhi sehensheel hone ke bhaav jagruk hote hai.

Is priniciple ko khud the great Abraham Lincoln ne bhi follow kia tha, ek baar unhone apna experience share karte hue kaha k “mein pehle apne virodhiyon ko publically khub criticize kia karta tha, lekin ek baar ek virodhi ne unke criticism se pareshaan hokar unhe Talwaar se maarne ki dhamki de daali, jiske baad se hi Abraham Lincoln darr gaye. Aur unhone kisi ko bhi directly criticize karna chord diya. Itna hi nahi… Lincoln khud yeh baat batate hain k woh dusron ko bhi yahi salah dene lage ki directly criticize karna nuksaandaayak ho sakta hai. isiliye kabhi bhi hume sahi dhang se pesh aana chahiye.

PRINCIPL¬¬E 2 – Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Yaani Puri Imaandari aur achi niyat ke sath saamnewale ki prashansha karein
Ek aisa bhi tarika hai jisse hum kisi bhi insaan se kuch bhi karwa sakte hai aur Principle 2 yahi sikhata hai ki kis tarah se hum aisa karne me kaamyab ho sakte hai. Agar hum Tahe Dil se aur puri imaandari ke sath kisi vyakti ki prashansha karte hai toh iski chhap us vyakti ke dilon dimaag se zindagi bhar nahi chhut-ti. Who hamesha aapki is prashansha ko sanjoy rakhta hai aur aise me yeh laajmi ho jata hai ki who aapki kahi hui baat ko mane.

Aur aapko pasand kare. For eg, Construction sight k manager ko ek badi dikkat ka saamna tab karna padta jab mazdur unke saamne toh unki baat maankar safety head gar/helmet pehen lete… lekin unke jaate hi who us helmet ko mikaal dete. Aise mein us manager ne ek alag tareeka apnaya. Unhone ne is bar bade hi pyaar se mazudron se kaha ki kya unhe yeh helmets ache nahi lag rahein ? ya fir inki fitting kharaab hai? Agar aisa nahi hai, toh unhe yeh helmets pehen ne chahiye… kyuki yeh unki safety k liye hi ban hai. Who nahi chahte k unke kimti workers ko chot lage. Yeh sunte hi azduron ne us waqt se hi helmets rozana pehen na shuru kar dia. Aur us manager kay eh tareeka kaam aaya.

PRINCIPLE 3 – Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Principle 3 – Kisi Anya Vyakti ke mann me utsukta jagruk karna sikhiye yaani logon ko positively encourage yaa motivate kijiye Iska bada sadharan sa example hai, jab aapke paas ek bahut hi zabardast idea hai toh, logon ko yeh kabhi na sochne de ke woh idea aapki hai balki usko badi hi samajhdhari se logon ke dimaag me ghol do taaki unko lage ke yeh ideasirf aapka hi nahi unka bhi hai. Aisa karne se log isse apni yojna samajhkar aur bhi jyada madadgaar sabit honge. Is manovigyanik soch ka hum badi aasani se apne professional life me istemal kar sakte hai.

Author Dale Cardnigie apna hi ek experience share karte hue batate hain k ek baar Brookyn Institute of Arts & science mein who students k liye bade hi successful authors ko guest lecture k liye bulana chahte the. Problem yeh thi k sabhi authors kaafi busy the. Is liye Dale ne laghbagh 150 students k saath mil kar ek khat likha aur inn authors ko bhej diya. Iss khat ko padhte hi yeh sabhi busy authors apne apne desh ko chord Brooklyn mein lecture k liye pahuch gaye. Aakhir us letter mein aisa kya likha gaya tha? Well dale ne isi principle ka faayda uthaya.

Us letter par sabhi 150 students ne sign kia tha, aur unn writers se binti ki k agar unke jaise mahaan writer apna samay nikaal kar unhe sikhaenge toh yeh unn students k liye garv ki baat hogi. Bhai aisa letter padh kar toh koi bhi pighal jaae!! Toh yeh thi apne aas-paas k logon ko handle karne ki kuch tarkeebein. Ab hum umeed kartein hain k aap bhi logo se deal karne wali apni social skills ko mazbut bana lenge!

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Yeh baat toh aap bhi maanoge. K koi bhi insaan us vyakti ka kaam pehle karta hai yaa us vyakti ki baat manta hai jise woh pasand karte ho! Toh phir chaliye aap bhi sunn lijiye un techniques k baare mein jiski madad se log aapko pasand karne lagege.

PRINCIPLE 1 – Become genuinely interested in other people.yaani Sahi maayno me logon me apni dilchaspi dikhana

Agar aap chahte hai ki log aapko pasand karein, aur agar aap sachchi dosti kayam karna chahte haitoh is principle ko hamesha dhyan me rakhein. Agar hum kisi ka sachcha dost banna chahte hai toh humein puri lagan se unke liye apne waqt ke sath sath apna mann bhi invest karna hoga aur apne swarth ko pare rakhna hoga. Jiska ek bahut hi sahi udahran yeh hai, ki jab hum kisi ke sath dosti ki shuruwat karte hai aur agar isi shuruwati samay me usi ki matra bhasha me baat karte hai toh who vyakti hamein jyada pasand karta hai.ab isse humara matlab yeh bilkul nahi hai k aap logo ki haan mein haan milaaye.

For eg, kisi bhi successful business interview ka raaz aakhir kya ho sakta hai? Well former    Harvard president Charles.W. Eliot k anusaar successful business interview k peeche koi bada raaz nahi hai. Yahan Aapko bas ek hi cheez karni hoti hai. Aur who hai saamne wale insaan ko kaafi baariki se sunna. Unmein badi dilchaspi dikhana. Kyuki aap agar unhe ehemiyat dete ho. toh who bhi aapko zabardast reponse dene lagtein hain.

PRINCIPLE 2 – Remember that a person’s name is to that person the most important sound in any language.Har insaan ke liye uska apna naam sabse jyada jaruri hota hai. warna aise hi thodi naa har koi apne naam ko roshan karna chahta hai.

Famous writer Shakespeare ne bakhoobi kaha hai What’s in a name? yaani ‘Naam me kya rakha hai’ lekin sahab shayad yeh baat bhul gaye ke har insaan ke liye sabse jyada jaruri hota hai uska naam. Kyuni naam ki wajah se hi humein ek dusre se alag hote hai. Naam har insan ki pehchan hoti hai aur agar hum kisi insaan ko uske naam se bulaye toh yeh jyada kaargar sabit hota hai. Aur yeh principle aap apne se niche tabke ke sath aajma kar dekh sakte hai. Jaise driver, waiter ya office ka chaprasi. Apna naam sunna har kisi ko pasand hota hai.

PRINCIPLE 3 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Principle 3–  Dusre Insaan ke interests ki baatein karein.Hum agar kisi ke sath jyada der tak bina bore kiye baatein karna chahte hai toh yeh principle humein yaad rakhna hoga ke humein us insaan ke interest ki baatein karni chahiye. Isse aap dono ki baatein aur bhi jyada interesting ho jayengi aur kaafi der tak chalengi. Jaise hum agar kisi insan se pehli baar milte hai aur sirf apne bare me hi baat karte jate hai toh isse us insan ka interest dheere dheere kam hota hua nazar aayega… lekin agar hum us insan ke uske interest ki baatein karte hai toh aap ke sath sath us insan ko bhi aapse baat karne me maja aayega.

Ab jaise ki William    Lyon jo ki ek literature k professor hain, batatein hain k jab who 10 saal k the toh who apni aunty k yaha weekends spend kiya karte the. Ek shaaam ek middle aged aadmi unki aunty se milne pahuchein aur kuch samay unki aunty k saath bitaane k baad unhone apna sara dhyaan nanhe William par lagaya. Us waqt unhe boats mein kaafi dilchaspi thi, is liye who visitor bhi unse boats k baare mein hi baat karne lage, unhe us aadmi se baat karne mein kafi maza aa raha tha.

Aur jaise hi who wahan se chale gaye. Nanhe William ne unki tareef apni aunty se karna shuru kr dia. Lekin who tab chaunk gaye jab unki aunty ne unhe bataya k who aadmi new York mein ek lawyer the, aur unhe darasal boats mein koi ruche nahi,  who toh sirf tumse baat karna chah rahe the, aur tumhari batein vo is liye itni dilchaspi se sunn rahe the kyunki who ek gentleman hain.

PRINCIPLE 6 – Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely. Logon ko ehemiyat dijiye. Aur unhe mehsus karayein ke wo khaas hai. Jaisa ki humne Principle 5 me bataya ki dusre insan ka interest build karna bahut jaruri hota hai aur yeh mumkin ho pata hai us insan ke interest ke bare mein baatein karne se aur ab is principle se humein yeh pata chalta hai ki us insaan ko khaas saabit karana bhi utna hi jaruri hai. Yeh bahut jaruri hai ki hamari baaton se dusre insaan ko yeh lagne lage ke who hamare liye bahut maayne rakhte hai. Isse aapke aur us insaan ke bich ke rishte aur bhi gehre hote chale jayenge.

Yeh principle aapko is choti si story se clearly samajh aa jaaega. Ek din David apne kuch sharabi doston ko late night ek party k baad safely apni car mein ghar pahucha rahe the. Lekin tabhi sign board dekhne k baawajud David ne jaan bujh kar galat turn le liya, aur tabhi unhe ek traffic police officer ne rok liya, unhone David se pucha “Kya tum jaante ho mene tumhe kyu roka hai” Ab agar is situation mein, David baaki logo ki tarah Traffic police ko rude reply dete toh woh phans jaate. Lekin David ne badi hi samajhdaari aur imaandaari se apni galti maani aur saath hi saath yeh bhi keh diya “I’m sorry sir, mein jaanta hu k meine galti ki hai, aur sign board dekhne k baawajud mene galat turn liya.

Jo bhi jurmaana hai mein bharne k liye taiyaar hu, apni duty nibhaane k liye aapka bohot shukriya. Desh ko aap jaise police officers ki hi zarurat hai” ab yeh sunte hi maano police officer k kaano mein David ne shehed ghol diya ho. Unhone naa sirf David ko maaf kiya balki unka license lautakar apne sharabi doston ko safely ghar pahuchaane ki zimmedaari par shabashi bhi di. Aur wahan se bina jurmaana k hi unhe jaane diya.Bhai waah David!!Toh dekha doston, Inn sabhi principles ko ab aap achi tarah se jaan chuke ho. Toh inhe practice kijiye aur dekhiye ki kis tarah aapke aas paas k log aapko pasand karne lagenge,

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