Introduction

If I ask you to imagine a great leader, what will your first thoughts be? Will you picture a tall man in a suit, walking straight with his head high, looking confident and always strict?

This is the old version of leaders. Nowadays, there is a new definition of a great leader. This book will change your perspective on what makes a great leader.

We will teach you how to gradually become a leader. You will discover that leading thoughtlessly is obsolete, and that you need to change.
This book will help you achieve this change by explaining the fundamental principles of being vulnerable. You will learn how vulnerability can make you a more reliable and more trustworthy leader.

You will, also, learn how to have heavy conversations with your employees. You will learn how to listen, how to treat others with empathy, and how to run a business wherein everyone is connected by working for the same values.

Since you want to be a great leader, you need to learn how to manage your team so as they can achieve high-performance levels. You need to prove that you are confident, curious, and brave.

This book has all the tools you need to upgrade from being an old-fashioned leader to a brand new version that everyone would love and respect. More importantly, you will be able to achieve better results with your team.
Let’s learn how to make you a better leader!

The Moment and the Myths

In this world, there are two types of people. The first type shall be labeled Bold people: they are the ones who always take risks even when they know that they might fail. The second type is the type of people who only take risks when failure is a remote possibility.

Being a daring leader means going all-in, even when you know that you are going to fail.  Daring entails becoming vulnerable.
Vulnerability is the panoply of emotions that we feel when we are taking risks or feeling exposed.

Most people believe that vulnerability is related to weakness, something that we should let go of, as it is baseless.
The truth is the other way around. When we are vulnerable, we are stronger because we are the ones in control of our emotions: we are connecting with others, and we are building trust with everyone.

Let's take the example of Ellen. Ellen is in third grade. One day, she came home crying. Her mother was both angry and worried.
When Ellen’s mother asked why she’s crying, the child said that she did something very embarrassing in school and that her friends promised her that they wouldn't tell anyone.

But then, Ellen went to class and found out that the whole school knows about her embarrassing moment. They were all whispering and laughing at her.

Ellen cried a lot. She told her mother that she would never trust anyone again. Her mother was upset; but, she tried to teach her daughter a valuable lesson.

The mother told Ellen to imagine a marble jar. Whenever a friend did something good for her, Ellen would put a marble in the friend’s jar.
Now, the mother told Ellen to think about all her friends. Which of her friends deserves more marbles in their jar? Ellen thought carefully and started naming a few.

We trust people who have lots of marbles in the jar, which means that the person is a good friend. But, trust can only be built when we are vulnerable and making connections. To become a great leader, you will need the trust of your followers.

Showing emotions is not a weakness; but, it’s a way to form good relationships and get the support of the people around you.
Over time, you would be filling marble jars of a lot of people, and your marble jar may be filled as well.

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The Call to Courage

Sometimes, we are faced with events that make us feel uncomfortable. Usually, we think that it's better to lie in this kind of situation than to be truthful.
We think that by hiding something from the concerned person, we are being kind. But, actually, true kindness is shown by being clear and sincere. If what you are trying to say is harsh, try giving the other person some time to ponder over your words.

Because great leaders must know how to be honest and supportive, we will take a look at the story of Colonel DeDe.
DeDe is the director of innovation, leadership development, and analysis. She works for Airforce Global Strike Command, and she is responsible for over 33,000 officers.

Before DeDe took this position, she had worked as a commander for the 2nd mission support group at Louisiana. During that time, she was responsible for over 1,800 airmen.

As a leader, DeDe believes that it’s her responsibility to be vulnerable and to know how to solve any kind of problem. The only issue is that there is no training that prepared her, or any other leader, to be able to use the right words when emotions are involved.

During her first year of command, DeDe was giving some awards to her airman. During her speech, she asked if anyone had a question.

One of the airmen raised his hand. He asked if they were planning to reduce work hours because he and his comrades have been exhausted.
DeDe responded to his inquiry by explaining that everyone is tired, not only in this command, but all regions are suffering from the same issue.
Then she asked the men who were tired to raise their hands. To her surprise, almost everyone did.

Faced with this problem, DeDe stood silent. She remembered an article that she read a long time ago, and she decided to try to be vulnerable and share her concerns.
DeDe said that she read an article that talked about exhaustion. The results of that research indicate that when people are tired, especially in places of business, they are, in fact, lonely.

The exhaustion they are feeling is more emotional than physical.
Then DeDe asked them which one of them is lonely? Almost fifteen men raised their hands. DeDe was very shocked because she believed that even if they are lonely, men won’t have the courage to admit it.

DeDe didn’t know what to do because she is not a therapist. The only option she could think of is to be humane: to try to identify with their emotions, to share their pain, and to discuss possible solutions.

After a very long discussion, DeDe and her group came out with a new plan that has more human interaction and more socializing among the group of airmen.

DeDe was a leader who overcame a difficult situation. Instead of running away, she decided to face the problem and to talk honestly with the people that she was responsible for.

Talking candidly is never easy; but, being a great leader entails being willing to make difficult conversations even when we have no idea about what we are talking about. We can just listen and share vulnerability.

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