The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children (English)

The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children (English)

Introduction

Dr. Shefali was awakened one morning by her daughter. The little girl was smiling so wide. She was jumping from excitement. She told Dr. Shefali that the tooth fairy had left a gift under the pillow. When Dr. Shefali checked, she saw a one-dollar bill torn in half.The little girl proudly said that the tooth fairy left one half under Dr. Shefali’s pillow and one half under her husband’s. With her great imagination, the child thought it was the best idea to give her parents equal parts of the one-dollar bill. For a moment, Dr. Shefali was speechless.

If you were Dr Shefali, what would you do? How would you react? Every day is an opportunity to be a conscious parent. Do you want to know how you can have a better relationship with your children? Do you want to know how you can lead them to success?In this book, you will learn how to be the parent that your child needs. You will learn not only about parenting, but also about life in general. You will learn not only to be a better parent, but to be a better person as well.

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A Real Person Like Myself

It was one of the situations when a parent can make or break the child’s spirit. Dr. Shefali thought deeply if she should take the opportunity to teach her daughter that money should not be wasted or if she should smile back and thank her for the gift.Dr. Shefali chose to save the lesson for another time and hugged her daughter tight. She told the little girl that she was grateful for the tooth fairy’s gifts. Dr. Shefali’s daughter smiled bright and felt very proud of herself.

Children are playful. They don’t act with the rules we know as an adult. They are just being kids. They plunge head on into life and explore. They go through life not thinking about risks and limits.It is the parent’s job to set the limits for them, to teach them that they can dream to be a superhero, but they cannot jump off the window. That morning, Dr. Shefali’s daughter really wanted to give her parents gifts. It was beyond her to think that money was valuable or that it was too early to wake them up.

As parents, we always feel that we need to teach our children a lesson. We have to realize that they are real people too, like us. They experience joy, sadness, excitement and disappointment. We need to let them feel the ups and downs of life. We need to let them be their own self. If you are always there to fix things, your child would not learn. You must realize that your child is a separate being from you. He or she has her own unique personality. Like Dr. Shefali, you must let it shine through.

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The Spiritual Reason We Birth Our Children

We all begin as unconscious parents. We parent our children in the way that we were parented. We reflect our own ideals and aspirations to them. If you are having problems with your child, you need to look within yourself first. Are you being a conscious parent? Are you acting based on your child’s needs and not based on your own?Those who seek Dr. Shefali’s help find this odd. This really is the first step. Before you try to change the behavior of your child, you should see first what needs to be changed in yours. Fortunately, having your child gives you the opportunity to change every day.

It may be that you are carrying burdens as an adult which stemmed from how you were raised as a child. You can learn from the story of Jessica and Anya. Jessica’s behavior as a teenager gave Anya opportunity to revisit her own childhood. It helped Anya to change and mend her relationship with Jessica. Anya’s daughter Jessica was well-behaved. She always got good grades at school. She was the ideal daughter. That was until Jessica turned 14.In her teenage years, Jessica became rebellious. Her bad habits include stealing, lying, smoking, and clubbing. She became defiant, rude, and sometimes violent towards Anya.

These bad habits made Anya really frustrated. She was not able to control her emotions. She became really mad at Jessica. She often shouted at her daughter and called her names. Their conversations often ended up in a fight.It became so bad that one day, Jessica confessed to the school counsellor that she had been cutting her wrist. The negative feelings were just too much for Jessica to handle.

When Anya learned about this, she consulted with Dr. Shefali. Anya said that it was as if she was six years old again. Anya remembered how her own mother shouted at her and slammed the doors. Her father was cold. He didn’t give her any affection. Her mother was physically there but emotionally absent. When Anya was 8 years old, she already felt very lonely.In her search for attention, Anya changed herself. She decided to imitate her mother. She thought that this was the way she could get her father’s affection. Anya’s mother was always prim and proper. What Anya did was dress properly and behave properly. She performed very well at school.

Her efforts were still not enough. There was one night when her father got really mad because Anya did not sit still while doing her homework. Her father did not talk much. He just dragged her to the corner of the room and made her kneel there facing the wall. He also made her raise her arms to the air.Anya stayed that way for two hours. Her father did not say anything. Her mother did not intervene. Not one of them looked at her or acknowledged her presence. Anya cried and begged for them to forgive her, but they just ignored her. After two hours, her father told her to go back to studying.

Anya remembered never to behave badly again. She locked up all her negative emotions and all the bad memories. She played the role of a perfect child. That was exactly what also happened to Jessica.Jessica’s behavior triggered all the memories and emotions that Anya had locked within. That was why she reacted so negatively towards her daughter.After years, it was only then that Anya was able to treat her own wounds. She recognized the negative feelings that she had been passing on to her daughter. She and Jessica forgave each other.Their relationship improved when Anya started seeing Jessica as a unique individual and not a reflection of her own self. They started to become happy and loving towards one another.

TO READ OR LISTEN COMPLETE BOOK CLICK HERE

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